Walk Five Seasons With My Cane
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: AU. Five oneshots set in a world where Cuddy is the one who had the infarction and House is the one who operated on her behind her back. HousexStacy, CuddyxHouse onesided. ChasexCuddy in later chapters. NOW COMPLETE. BONUS ALTERNATE ENDING.
1. Three Stories

**DISCLAIMER: House belongs to FOX.**

-- Walk Five Seasons --  
(With My Cane)

**Three Stories**

"Hang on," said one of the med students - _the annoying one_, as House had mentally dubbed him. "You said there were three stories, but you only told us about the volleyball player and the farmer. What happened to the other patient?"

"She didn't check into the hospital. Thought it was a charlie horse, waited for it to go away."

"Obviously it didn't, since she came to the hospital sometime to get it checked out," Annoying One said.

"No, she didn't," House replied, apparently enjoying the fact that the med student was wrong in his assumption. "She was admitted four days later, after going into cardiac arrest." He waited a moment for the students to absorb that.

"So, she just continued to ignore the leg pain even though it wasn't going away?" Annoying One piped up once more, just proving once more that the nickname suited him.

"She didn't ignore it," House explained. "When the pain didn't resolve on its own, she realized that it wasn't just a charlie horse and assumed that she'd pulled a muscle. She stopped wearing high heels, took some aspirin, and went to work as usual. She didn't realize anything was really wrong with her until after the cardiac arrest."

"But if she'd just gotten it looked at before that-" a female student started to say.

House cut her off. "I just said 'She didn't realize anything was really wrong with her until after the the cardiac arrest.' Therefore, she didn't realize that anything was really wrong with her until after the cardiac arrest. Which is why she _didn't_ have it looked before that." He went on to list the symptoms the patient had displayed after being admitted. "So, what's the diagnosis?"

After a few half-assed attempts were shot down, one of House's fellows piped up from the back of the room, "Muscle death."

"No fair, you already knew the answer," House mock-whined.

"You were right, he was talking about Cuddy," Foreman said quietly to Cameron.

"And you three shouldn't be here anyway, you're already doctors," House continued. "What _are_ you doing here, anyway?"

"We have a case, and this class was scheduled to end twenty minutes ago."

-end of chapter 1-

**A/N: This fic will be five chapters, one "episode" from each season. You may have guessed already that the fic title is based on the "walk a mile in their shoes" saying. The "five seasons" part is referring to the five seasons of the show and also "_Walk the seasons from spring to winter, spring again and you can enter_." Anyone who can tell me where that quote is from gets 500 points. (I keep track of eveyrone's scores in my profile page.)**

**Reviews are love.**


	2. Pain Threshold

-- Walk Five Seasons --  
(With My Cane)

**Pain Threshold**

"What's with the cane?" Wilson asked as House entered the oncologist's office - without knocking, of course.

" 'Always carry a spare'," House replied, quoting Robin. "Either that, or because it's stylish."

"You don't care about being stylish," Wilson said knowingly. "You're seriously going to walk around with that cane until Cuddy decides she needs one? That's... such messed up logic that you can't even call it reverse psychology. It's like... sideways, diagonal, catty-corner psychology. I'm going to shut up now, because I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore."

House shook his head - as if to rid it of Wilson's ramblings - then said, "I just thought it'd be good to have one on hand, just in case."

Wilson sighed. "You know as well as I do that even on a bad pain day, her vanity comes first. She doesn't want to look like a cripple. The most she'll do is take a couple aspirin and wear flats instead of high heels."

"She should just take her damn Vicodin," House groused.

"She doesn't want to get addicted," Wilson replied. They'd had this conversation many times over the last five years.

"Not because she cares about the addiction itself," House said, sounding annoyed. "But because she's worried about what would happen if people found out that the dean of medicine was a Vicodin-addicted cripple."

"Hey, she's already mad at you for letting your team find out about her leg. Most of the staff still doesn't know. Don't press the cane issue with her."

"But, the pain's _bad_, right?" House said. "I don't see how women in general can walk around in high heels all day, and I _super_-don't see how Cuddy can walk around in high heels all day with that leg."

"It's been scientifically proven that women have a much higher pain threshold than men," Wilson said. "What did you come in here for, anyway? I'm assuming it wasn't just to show off your cane and talk about Cuddy."

"Oh, right..." House said slowly. The conversation about the cane had caused him to momentarily forget the reason he'd come here in the first place. "Stacy's pregnant. We decided to get married. I was going to ask you to be the best man at my wedding."

"Wow," Wilson said, not quite absorbing what House had just told him. "Really?"

"Totally for reals," House said in a goofy voice, waiting for the information to sink in.

"Okay. Yes. I will be your best man," Wilson said, still not quite out of his state of shock.

"Are you bringing a date to the wedding?" House asked, always eager to interfere in Wilson's personal life.

"I haven't been seeing anyone since the divorce was finalized, so no?" It came out sounding like a question. He figured House was going somewhere with this.

"How come you and Cuddy never got together?" House asked point-blank. "She's needy, you need needy, and unlike the previous three Mrs. Wilsons, she's not going to _stop_ being needy. She's the perfect woman for you."

"Because! I don't _like _her," Wilson protested.

"You don't _not_ like her," House pointed out.

"Okay, I like her," Wilson conceded, "but not in a romantic way. She's a friend."

"It could _so_ turn into a more-than-friends thing," House argued.

"House!" Wilson snapped. "Drop it!"

Somehow, he had a feeling that House's wedding would cause more pain for Cuddy than her leg ever could.

-end of chapter 2-

**A/N: This chapter isn't based on any specific episode, just takes place during season 2 in general. **

**The Robin quote is by Batman's Robin, in case any of you were confused about that. (The line is from the animated series.)**

**Reviews are love.**


	3. Social Skills

-- Walk Five Seasons --  
(With My Cane)

**Social Skills**

Everyone around the hospital was used to seeing House with his cane, so it seemed very odd for him to show up without it. Especially since most of the staff never knew the real reason he had the cane in the first place.

It was even stranger for them to see him walk into the hospital with his one-year-old son in his arms.

"Hi!" the little boy called out, waving enthusiastically at random people walking past while House scowled.

"House!"

_Oh, great. Here comes my least-favorite employee_.

"Daniel, say hi to Dr. Chase," House instructed with fake cheerfulness as Chase approached.

"Hi, Face."

"Danny, when are you going to learn to say my name right?" Chase asked, reaching out to tickle the little boy. "Well, at least he has his mother's social skills, and not yours," he said to House.

"Haha," House replied sarcastically.

Daniel giggled and turned his face against House's shoulder.

"We have a case?" House asked.

"No."

"Cuddy in her office?"

"I think so, why?"

But Chase never got an answer to that question.

House barged into Cuddy's office without knocking, as usual.

"What, House?" she asked without looking up from her paperwork.

"I hope you don't mind that I brought him with me today," House said.

"Hi!" Daniel interrupted.

Cuddy _did_ look up then, and saw House's son waving at her shyly.

"Stacy had to go to court today, and she doesn't believe in hiring a nanny," House finished his explanantion. "On the other hand, please mind. Then I can go home," he added.

"I don't mind, House," Cuddy replied with a half-smile. "Just have Cameron watch him, like I'm sure you were planning to do anyway, and go do your clinic hours."

"Okay," House said.

_Giving in a little too easily_, Cuddy thought, knowing he was going to follow up with something she probably didn't want to hear.

"While we're on the subject, that thing with Cameron and Wilson must have come as a real shock, right?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I saw it coming a mile away," she answered bluntly. "If you're done, get out."

"Wait, wait, don't kick me out yet," House said. "Let me tell you something about Daniel..."

Cuddy sighed. This was another annoying thing about House. Ever since Daniel was born, House had developed a tendency to randomly tell amusing stories about his child. She honestly hadn't expected him to be that kind of parent...

"Danny's a real man," House went on, not taking note of the pained expression on Cuddy's face. She _really_ didn't to hear any more baby stories. "Well, you know he had his first birthday not too long ago, and we took him to the toy store. We went over the stuffed animals, and Stacy told him he could pick out any one he wanted. And do you know what he picked?"

He paused as if waiting for her to answer, but Cuddy just waited for him to continue speaking.

"A _skunk_," House announced gleefully, the very picture of a doting father. "And he said, 'I want this one. It's stinky.' "

"Okay, House, go do your job, please?" Cuddy said in a strained voice.

Really, if she had to listen to one more story about House and Stacy's happy family, she was going to go insane...

_Oh, well... at least I don't have to deal with him trying to set me up with Wilson anymore_.

-end of chapter 3-

**A/N: Yes, Wilson and Cameron. Because I have plans for Chase in the 4th and 5th season chapters.**

**Reviews are love.**


	4. Bundle of Joy

-- Walk Five Seasons --  
(With My Cane)

**Bundle of Joy**

"Is it just me, or has she been bitchier than usual lately?" House asked, gesturing vaguely toward the door to Wilson's office... which Cuddy had slammed shut behind her on her way out, after yelling at them both over House's latest antics.

"Maybe her leg hurts," Wilson replied sarcastically.

"Her leg always hurts," House said contemplatively, "and she's never been _this_ bitchy before. So it's obviously something else..."

"Maybe you're just annoying her more than usual lately?" Wilson suggested, sounding a bit irritated himself.

"I'm annoying her the exact same amount that I usually do, maybe even a little less," House said. "And if you were wondering, yes, I do keep track. So that can't be it."

"Maybe your new team is getting on her nerves," Wilson said. "God knows, the constant sniping gets a _little_ old when you're stuck listening to it day in and day out. I still can't believe you hired _Amber_."

"Hey, you could at least get her name right!" House said, as though he were offended by Wilson's use of Amber's non-nick name. "It's Cutthroat Bitch."

"And does Taub feel left out, not having a cute nickname?" Wilson asked sarcastically.

"Actually, I think he's just waiting for Thirteen and Cutthroat Bitch to finally break down and have a catfight..."

"Don't you have a case?"

"Oh, right... wouldn't want to miss the catfight if it _does_ happen." And with a grin and a wink, House went back to his own office to head up the differential diagnosis.

It was a few days later when House actually figured out the cause of Cuddy's recent extra-bitchiness.

"You're pregnant."

She looked confused by the sudden announcement, especially since she'd been in the middle of lecturing his team for nearly crippling a patient with an unapproved risky procedure.

"What? No, I'm not," she said, once House's statement sunk in.

She couldn't be pregnant - there were certain physical requirements that she hadn't met. She hadn't even had sex with anyone recently. Well, she vaguely recalled a few drunken hookups... with women. Recently she'd taken to medicating her troubles with alcohol and recreational drugs, partying hard, coming to work hungover. But she'd stopped a few months ago. After House threatened to fire Thirteen if she didn't straighten out, Cuddy had lost her connection to the party circuit.

Cuddy's eyes flicked to Thirteen. She was sure the younger woman had never informed House about them going to wild parties together, but maybe she was wrong and House _did_ know...?

"Who's the father?" House asked, ignoring her denial of the pregnancy.

Cuddy's eyes flicked to Thirteen again, and this time Thirteen took the opportunity to mouth _Chase_. Cuddy's eyes widened. Chase? Seriously? She didn't remember ever sleeping with him.

"I don't know. Maybe Chase?" she answered tentatively.

"Maybe?" House asked, eyebrows raised. "You don't even know who you slept with? Or, there's so many you just aren't sure which one the father is?"

"No, I'm sure it must be Chase," Cuddy answered, more confidently this time.

"Cause your manwhores are always careful about using condoms, and two women can't get each other pregnant," House said.

_He's just guessing, he doesn't really know for sure. If I deny it, or yell at Thirteen, it'll just confirm his suspicions_.

Out loud she said, "It doesn't matter anyway because _if _I even am pregnant, it's not like I could carry it to term."

"Why not?" House asked in surprise. He'd always thought that Cuddy liked kids. She got along fine with Daniel. _And it's not like she has a medical condition that would prevent her_-

She interrupted his thought, "My leg."

"Last time I checked, your leg isn't your uterus," House informed her.

"I can barely walk as it is," Cuddy snapped. (In the background, Taub and Amber looked shocked at this information, and Thirteen leaned over the table to whisper to them.) "My leg wouldn't hold up under the extra weight, and I'd probably end up falling down a flight of stairs or something," she said bitterly.

"Or... your doctor could put you on bed rest after the first trimester and you could _use your damn cane_ when you absolutely need to walk."

"I'm NOT-"

"Well, let's see what _yo baby daddy_ thinks about all of this before you decide to kill your child," House spoke over her, and he paged Chase before she had a chance to argue.

-end of chapter 4-

**A/N: ****Reviews are love.**


	5. All Sides

-- Walk Five Seasons --  
(With My Cane)

**All Sides**

Stacy had already put Daniel to bed by the time House got home.

"Hi, honey," she greeted him cheerfully, kissing his cheek. "How was work?"

"Cuddy kissed me," he answered flatly.

"Why? What happened?" Stacy asked, sounding worried but not surprised.

House was surprised that his wife _didn't_ sound surprised to hear that another woman had kissed him. Then again, Cuddy and Stacy were friends and maybe Stacy knew something about Cuddy's current emotional state that he didn't...? Pregnancy hormones made women do lots of crazy things, after all.

"Well, this morning in the clinic..."

_Cuddy stumbled and almost fell, but someone caught her arm. She turned her head and saw that it was House - she'd been on her way to Exam Room 2, he'd just come out of Exam Room 1._

_She was shocked to see him actually doing his clinic duty on schedule and without having been nagged about it beforehand. Then again, just because SHE hadn't nagged him about it didn't necessarily mean that Wilson or his team hadn't..._

_She wasn't wearing high heels today, he noticed. It must be a bad pain day._

_Still holding onto her arm, he held out his cane with his other hand._

_"You want?" he asked, his tone almost playful. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, or the baby."_

_"I don't know why you care so much," she said as she reached for the cane._

_Actions spoke louder than words indeed, because he was far more surprised that she was actually willing to use the cane in public than he was by what she'd said. Maybe the fact that he's heard her say it every time he expressed concern for her child but never seen her use a cane outside her own home had something to do with his level of shock in this scenario?_

_He let go of her arm. There was no reason for him to hang on now that her balance was stabilized with the aid of the cane._

_"About whether my baby lives or dies," she clarified when he didn't respond. (House had been the one to talk her out of the abortion when Chase chickened out and told her he'd respect her decision.) "Unless..."_

_Then she leaned forward and kissed him. He did not kiss back, nor did he push her away._

"I didn't know what to do, so I just let her," he explained quietly. "It was over pretty quickly so I didn't have much time to react anyway."

"It's alright, no need to get defensive about it," Stacy said, smiling. "But if she tries anything with you again, you need to tell her that it can't be that way between the two of you. Don't be mean, just remind her that you're married and that you do care about her - but only as a friend."

"You think she likes me?" House asked, sounding intrigued by the possibility.

Stacy smacked his arm.

"I think she's in a very vulnerable place emotionally right now, and don't you _dare_ do anything to make her think she might have a chance with you!"

"Wow, I think the second half of that sentence had enough acid in it to peel the paint off the walls..."

"Greg, I'm serious!" Stacy snapped.

House rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to cheat on you with Cuddy, or anyone else," he said. "Besides, Chase has been following around her around like a puppy, begging her to marry him. She's bound to give in sometime..."

The next day at work, Cuddy was waiting for House when he came in.

"You can have this back," she said, handing him his cane.

He noticed that she was carrying one of her own, and that it was a considerably nicer-looking one than either his or the one she used at home.

"I don't need it," he answered, then went on to admit, "I never needed it." Then he turned and shouted for everyone in the hospital lobby to hear, "_There's nothing wrong with my leg and there never has been!_"

"Was that a smart idea?" Cuddy asked, smirking. "Now you've lost your major excuse for being an ass."

"I don't mind," House shrugged it off. "Being a genius doctor who solves the cases no one else can solve is excuse enough to be an arrogant ass. The cane was just for show."

"Oh, take it already," she said impatiently, shoving the can into his hands. "After the wedding, I'm going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of the pregnancy anyway, so you don't need to worry about not being the only highly irritable doctor with a cane at this hospital."

"So, you finally agreed to marry Chase?" House asked, sounding surprised.

"I agreed the first time he asked me," she replied with a grin. "All the other stuff was just for show."

"Then yesterday in the clinic..."

... was just more revenge for the four years he'd been doing the cane thing.

-end-

**A/N: I had all kinds of ideas for this chapter, but ended up scrapping several very depressing versions where Cuddy killed either herself or House. (Suicide for herself, traffic accident similar to the season 4 finale episodes for House.)**

**Reviews are love.**


	6. Bonus Alternate Ending!

**DISCLAIMER: House belongs to FOX.**

**A/N: This was my original plan for the final chapter of Walk Five Seasons With My Cane, but I thought it was too depressing and replaced it with that happy little piece of fluff.**

-- Walk Five Seasons: Second Spring --

"You didn't have to wait up for me," Wilson said as he entered the apartment and saw Cameron curled up on the couch with a book.

"I couldn't sleep." Cameron closed the book and laid it on the coffee table. "How was the funeral?"

"It was terrible," Wilson answered honestly. "And I don't think _anyone_ got closure from it." He sucked in a shaky breath and asked, "How's Johanna?"

"Sleeping like an angel," Cameron replied, attempting a smile.

"Ironic, seeing as how we just buried her mother," Wilson commented humorlessly.

Cameron neatly sidestepped that emotional minefield with her next question: "Is Chase on his way or does he want us to keep Johanna for the night?"

Wilson sighed. "Chase… is at the hospital," he admitted hesitantly.

"He went into work?" Cameron asked incredulously.

"No, he's getting a couple of bones set… House and Chase got into a fistfight at funeral. Right there beside her grave, House accused Chase of being the one responsible for Cuddy's suicide."

* * *

"_You're her damn husband! Out of any of us, YOU should have been the one to see the signs! You should have been able to STOP her!"_

_Then the two men were shouting furiously in each other's faces and no one else could make out a word that they were saying._

* * *

"Well, Chase threw the first punch but it was definitely House who started the fight."

* * *

"_You think I didn't LOVE her?" Chase shouted as fist crashed against House's unguarded ribs. "You think I didn't do EVERYTHING, give EVERYTHING-"_

_His question remained unfinished as he staggered under the weight of a heavy blow to the jaw._

"_It obviously wasn't ENOUGH," House snarled, taking a moment to wipe blood from the corner of his mouth while Chase was down._

"_No, it WASN'T enough, it was NEVER enough," Chase shouted. "I wasn't good enough for her, because she was in love with YOU!" He spat the last word like it was a curse._

* * *

"House seemed surprised to hear that Cuddy was in love with him."

"It's hard to believe that he was _completely_ oblivious to it," Cameron replied skeptically.

"Well, she did a pretty good job of hiding from him after he got together with Stacy and he pretty much assumed that she hated him after he went behind her back and did the surgery on her leg."

"It's still so hard to believe that she's gone… the hospital will never be the same."

-end-

**Reviews are love.**


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